Struggles with the Inner Temptress


napob.com   1994
Inner Temptress, (recovery book), gouache on paper, 17 x 14 in., 1994

I can’t recall ever having a conversation with any man about his inner temptress, I don’t even know if anyone has ever experience that sensation.

In the making of art, especially over an extended period of time, meaning many years and what appears to be various lifetimes you shape shift into different beings.  My inner temptress is a reckless personality that can manifest sometimes and take me on a wild and dangerous dyonesian ride.

Anima's Visit, gouache on paper, (recovery book)14 x 17 in., 1994
Anima’s Visit, gouache on paper, (recovery book)14 x 17 in., 1994

These paintings are from a large workbook I call my Recovery Book. After a year of not painting I started the book while dealing with a severe bout of gender dysphoria, something I have wrestled with since I was a child. The emotional turbulence during these times disrupts my entire life and consumes my thoughts all the time, I become very depressed and alienated from all the people around me; so this time I decided to focus the energy by doing one painting a day in the book. It is a very suffocating feeling when the body you occupy feels alien and like a prison.

What do you see, (recovery book) gouache on paper,  17 x 28 in., 1994
What do you see, (recovery book) gouache on paper, 17 x 28 in., 1994

 

 

 

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